Dating is Hard

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It’s hard flipping through endless profiles trying to avoid the tools and the guys who want you to meet their mother within the first 3 dates.

It’s hard trying to find the perfect outfit that makes me forget about all of my physical and emotional flaws so maybe he’ll want to see me again.

Trying to find someone who is good and doesn’t care about my flaws is extremely hard. And when I do find that someone-they either end up ghosting me or telling me why I’m not good enough for them. So I was wrong about them in the first place.

I’ve been dating this amazing guy for the past month; he’s everything I’ve ever wanted. We met on Tinder and we’ve spent everyday together since we first met. I was hoping there would be no catch–guess who was wrong!? THIS GIRL. Turns out his job is sending him to a completely different state. I knew there was no way that this would end up going the way I wanted it to.

Until he said that he wanted to make this work. As in long distance. First of all- I’ve never had a guy want to do long distance. Second of all- long distance is hard. As. Fuck. We’ve both done long distance before and both of us have ended up putting in all the effort to make it work. I keep telling myself that this time will be different, but I have so many doubts and fears. 

It’s hard to want to try when you’re afraid of what might happen, which sounds ridiculous because I can’t control the future. He’s not walking away from us. It kind of freaks me out; I’m so used to being dropped. Maybe this time will be different.

It might be hard, but I’ll never know until I try, right? 

(Picture from http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-OAdv9_QnSBM

Am I Being too Picky?

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Hello Lovelies!!

It’s Friday! I hope all of you have a wonderful weekend!

So I’m looking for some dating advice- I feel like I’m becoming kind of shallow…but in a different sense. I joined OKCupid last week and I actually really like it despite all of the reviews it has received. My sister-in-law met my brother on there so I thought I’d give it a shot!

In order to find matches, you answer a series of questions that will appear on your profile to see if others will be a good match for you. It will tell you how compatible you are with someone out of 100% and it will show you what categories both of you have the same answers in. You can match with others by simply going down the page and starring the ones you like, or by swiping right on the quick match feature. But you can still message others if you don’t match or like their profile.

So this guy messaged me and I honestly get super busy and forget to check my notifications. I left my computer for like an hour or so and he had left me 10 messages…He seemed nice in the first one, but since I didn’t respond he became pretty vulgar. He was saying I was a bitch for not responding and giving him a chance. I looked at his profile and he’s not really my type. Not to mention he lives like 3 hours away! Yikes! But anyhoodles, I like big guys; not muscular but with some extra cushion if ya know what I’m sayin. Not that there’s anything wrong with his body type, I’m just not attracted to thinner men.

Am I being shallow for only sticking to the types of men I like? Should I be giving other body types a chance?

(Image from heroicmag.com)

Being Ghosted

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I’ve always imagined what my perfect relationship would be like: my dream guy  and I would be inseparable. We would be able to be completely comfortable and goofy around each other, but also have the capability to hold deep conversations. We would be nonstop cute and flirty. Our dates would be simple yet fun: finding new places for food or coffee, watching a movie/bumming around together, or having outdoorsy adventures. A few months ago I finally found it; my perfect relationship.

My friends always ridicule me for using Tinder, but eh I keep going back to it anyways. I started talking to this guy who lived in my hometown. He seemed to be everything I dreamed of and more, but what was the catch here? Was there one? We met after a few weeks of talking and he just stole my heart. He was perfect and I wanted him all to myself. Everything continued to go so well. I also shared so many things about my life that I’ve never shared with any of my past boyfriends. I felt so comfortable…I felt so…in love.

I could see a future with this guy, but what I didn’t see coming was his ghosting. There was a full week of short one word answers from him over text. So I figured, okay he’s really busy with work, school, and his organizations. Then another week went by where I could barely get him to answer me. Another week went by where he would reply sometimes and then just ignore my texts. I tried talking to him again and he said I was bothering him. I gave him some space-which was a mistake because two weeks went by and I got absolutely nothing from him.

It’s been three weeks since he’s spoken to me, and my friends have finally convinced me to forget about it. I just don’t get why people become so intimate and attached to someone and then they stop talking to you without warning or reason. The term “ghosting” just baffles me. I understand the concept I just cannot for the life of me comprehend why this has to happen. Am I so repulsive that he can’t tell me to my face that he doesn’t want to be with me? I’ll never know why I was ghosted. I know-the relationship was only a little over 2 months long, but it still really hurts to go through this phantom experience. There are so many questions I have, and all I want is some closure. I would much rather be broken up with face to face or over the phone than go through this again.

Have you ever been ghosted? What was your experience like?